Dad Says Jokes - Dad Jokes - Octopus

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • E-Book £P.O.R.
    More information
    • ISBN:9781788401197
    • Publication date:04 Oct 2018

Dad Jokes

The very best of @DadSaysJokes

By Dad Says Jokes

  • Hardback
  • £10.00

A collection of the very best jokes from the hilarious Instagram account @dadsaysjokes - so bad they're good.

From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure.

This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns.

Here are a couple of tasters:

Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A: Because they lactose.

Q: Are you today's date?
A: Cuz you're 10/10.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781788401029
  • Publication date: 04 Oct 2018
  • Page count: 272
  • Imprint: Cassell
Kyle Books

Crumb

Richard Bertinet
Authors:
Richard Bertinet

Bread can be open and airy or compact and dense - it is all about the 'crumb' which characterises particular styles of loaf. Richard shows you how to make everything from classic and rustic breads to sourdough using different flours and ferments. Learn how to bake a range of delicious sweet and savoury recipes from Manchego & Chorizo Cornbread, Seaweed & Sel Gris Rolls and Chickpea Flatbreads to Orange & Cardamom Swirls and Cinnamon Buns. There are also options for gluten-free breads and the best bakes to improve your gut-health by experimenting with different types of flour. Finally, Richard shares ideas for cooking with bread and creams, syrups and purées to enjoy alongside or incorporate into your bakes. With stunning step-by-step photography, simple advice and helpful techniques throughout, Crumb will inspire and fill everyone, whatever their experience, with the confidence to bake an exciting repertoire of breads.

Mitchell Beazley

Louise Parker: The 6 Week Programme

Louise Parker
Authors:
Louise Parker

'Louise Parker's programmes have helped Oscar-nominated film stars, royals and other movers and shakers.' - Mail on Sunday'Louise Parker has worked her magic on actors, athletes, pop stars, politicians and princesses and believes absolutely anyone can have a sensational body.' - Glamour'Louise Parker is one of the very few weight-loss experts worth the title. A genius method, an unbelievable client list and years of experience.' - Good Housekeeping'Quite simply the most intelligent weight-loss programme out there.' - Independent'Louise is the only one out there I trust' - Emma ThompsonThis book is for anyone truly wanting to change the way they live, reclaim their health and in doing so discover a body that's lean, strong and sustained with ease. It's about being the best version of yourself, being confident and happy in your skin and absolutely loving the way you live. I'm about to guide you through the first six weeks of a lifestyle overhaul, where you make yourself a priority and where your new habits will set you free.' - Louise Parker, bestselling author of The Louise Parker Method and Lean for Life: The CookbookLouise Parker's 6-Week Programme is a guided, motivational programme for transforming your body and enjoying the results for life. Week by week, you'll follow each of the four pillars of Louise's Method: eat beautifully, live well, think successfully and work out intelligently. You'll experience a complete mind-body reset and focus on acquiring the habits key to long-term success.

Ilex Press

The Nostalgia Nerd's Retro Tech: Computer, Consoles & Games

Peter Leigh
Authors:
Peter Leigh

Remember what a wild frontier the early days of home gaming were? Manufacturers releasing new consoles at a breakneck pace; developers creating games that kept us up all night, then going bankrupt the next day; and what self-respecting kid didn't beg their parents for an Atari or a Nintendo? This explosion of computers, consoles, and games was genuinely unlike anything the tech world has seen before or since.This thoroughly researched and geeky trip down memory lane pulls together the most entertaining stories from this dynamic era, and brings you the classic tech that should never be forgotten.

Hamlyn

Border Control Entrance Exam

Ilex Press

Moon

Alexandra Loske, Robert Massey
Authors:
Alexandra Loske, Robert Massey

A source of light in the dark of night and our ever-changing cosmic companion, the Moon has fascinated humankind since we first gazed into the sky. In this extensively illustrated and illuminating volume, art historian Alexandra Loske and astronomer Robert Massey present a rich and curious history. From its violent birth through to the exhilarating story of the Space Race and current exploration efforts, discover the many faces of the Moon and how they have shaped humanity's existence.

Cassell

I’m Absolutely Fine!

Annabel Rivkin & Emilie McMeekan of The Midult
Authors:
Annabel Rivkin & Emilie McMeekan of The Midult
Hamlyn

Giles The Collection 2019

Spruce

101 Things to Do With a Retired Man

Gabrielle Mander
Authors:
Gabrielle Mander

Sunny days and heady nights await you in retirement, not just for two weeks each year, but forever! You have been looking forward to this and have an endless list of things to do, but only once you have sorted out your other half and got him out from under your feet.101 Things to do with a Retired Man is designed to inspire and tease your retiree into having the time of his life and to fill his days (and yours) with sometimes silly, sometimes useful, but always interesting things to do, which do not include lying on the sofa, watching daytime television, tidying the garden to within an inch of its life or stacking and restacking the dishwasher in the most efficient fashion, as apparently only a man can. Retirement is the perfect time to learn a new skill, get in touch with old friends, and explore the great wide open, so get out there and get started! This hilarious look at retirement is cheaper than marriage counselling and makes the perfect tongue-in-cheek gift for anyone facing their (and their husband's) retirement with excitement but more than a little wariness.

Ilex Press

#Squad Goals

Ella Kasperowicz
Authors:
Ella Kasperowicz

Everbody has their own squad, a group of friends who you can rely on. There's the sassy one, the brainiac, the hot mess, the dizzy one, the party animal, the compulsive messager, the surrogate mum. Squad Goals celebrates all the facets of friendship, with burning issues for you to debate such as: 'Which cockatil would you be?" and "Who is the most likely to live to 100 or spend a night in jail?". Illustrated throughout by talented artist Ella Kasperowicz, this book is the perfect gift for birthdays, bachelorette parties and graduation. Chapters include:Meet the squad - friend archetypes, the friend most likely to...In squad we trust - what holds friendships together, group chat...Squad adventures - bachelorette party, hobbies, vacations, city breaks, party time...Inspirational squads - Mean Girls, Power Rangers, Harry Potter...

Spruce

Be a Sloth

Sarah Ford, Anita Mangan
Contributors:
Sarah Ford, Anita Mangan

Sloth takes life at his own pace. He knows what makes him happy (naps, box-set binges, a good banana) and what makes him unhappy (laundry day, the gym, people who don't recycle), and he makes sure his life is filled with more of the former than the latter. He is kind to his environment, but, just as importantly, he is kind to himself. Be like Sloth, and you'll discover the secret to escaping the rat race and living a happy life in the slow lane.A fun little gift book full of cute, hilarious and inspirational sloth mantras.

Ilex Press

Bullet Grid Journal: Floral

Organize your life with the bullet journaling phenomenon.Most of us need lists, and different trackers and calendars to keep on top things. A bullet journal brings together all these sources into a single personalized system.How does it work?You simply use bullet points and short notes to list appointment details, tasks, and important information. How will it change my life?If you're sick of piles of notebooks, lists on the pin-board, stickies on your computer, and electronic diaries, this unique journal will bring together everything in one place for a happier, calmer life.What do I need?You only need a pen or pencil to get started. Use colors, stickers, stamps, and washi tape to personalize your pages. Includes:· Full instructions on how to bullet journal.· Dot-gridded, numbered pages for journaling.· A handy pocket to store receipts, tickets and business cards.· Elastic closure.

Ilex Press

Bullet Grid Journal: Abstract

Organize your life with the bullet journaling phenomenon.Most of us need lists, and different trackers and calendars to keep on top things. A bullet journal brings together all these sources into a single personalized system.How does it work?You simply use bullet points and short notes to list appointment details, tasks, and important information. How will it change my life?If you're sick of piles of notebooks, lists on the pin-board, stickies on your computer, and electronic diaries, this unique journal will bring together everything in one place for a happier, calmer life.What do I need?You only need a pen or pencil to get started. Use colors, stickers, stamps, and washi tape to personalize your pages. Includes:· Full instructions on how to bullet journal.· Dot-gridded, numbered pages for journaling.· A handy pocket to store receipts, tickets and business cards.· Elastic closure.

Ilex Press

Bullet Grid Journal: Geometric

Spruce

What Would Unicorn Do?

Sarah Ford
Authors:
Sarah Ford

Unicorn took the world by storm with his sweet nature, sunny outlook and positive attitude in the best-selling feel-good book Be a Unicorn. Now he is back with this little book of life lessons. Looking for some guidance on how to live a happy, sparkling life? Or just wondering which path to trot along? Look no further than Unicorn, the best (and probably only) four-legged, one-horned happiness guru. With enlightenment on every page, let Unicorn teach you how to hopscotch over all of life's trials to a place where the grass definitely grows greener.With adorable quirky illustrations and wise, thoughtful and often completely hilarious life advice, this is a little book to keep firmly in your pocket, ready to be consulted whenever life gets a little bit tough.UNICORN WOULD:Wear the jumper that Granny knitted with pride.Sing Pharrell in the shower.Walk in someone else's flip-flops.Try new things... uhm beetroot juice... pink, yummy.Make every day count.UNICORN WOULD NOT EVER (NO THANK YOU MA'AM):Worry about a bit of dust.Eat someone else's chocolate.Blame others - 'my Panda made me do it'.Dwell too much on the past.Take things for granted.

Ilex Press

The Watercolour Ideas Book

Joanna Goss
Authors:
Joanna Goss
Spruce

Be a Llama

Sarah Ford
Authors:
Sarah Ford

Sweet natured, sociable, and blessed with great hair, Llama is taking on the world... she is doing it one step at a time and staying really, really chilled. Take a leaf out of Llama's book and seek out the calm amidst the chaos.From llama weddings to therapy llamas, these are the animals of tomorrow. Or the day after. No rush. Find your inner llama Zen with this little book of calm, illustrated with sweet pictures of little charmer Llama. Full of funny quotes to help you achieve total llama 'calma', this book is a wonderful gift for friends and family, as well as a great treat for you.

Spruce

Be a Mermaid

Sarah Ford
Authors:
Sarah Ford
Ilex Press

When Harry Met Meghan

Dan Evans
Authors:
Dan Evans

When Britain's most lovable prince met America's most beautiful legal-drama actress, a fairytale came to life. Re-enact this captivating love story in the comfort of your own home with these handy royal paper dolls.· Say "yes" to the dress as Meghan tries on stylish wedding gowns.· Enjoy a royal Christmas as the couple kick back in an elf suit and a reindeer onesie.· Relive that intimate marriage proposal, accessorised with a Union-Jack apron and a roast chicken.· Join the prince at his imaginary Las Vegas Bachelor Party complete with speedos, cocktails and an inflatable unicorn. · Help America's finest Hollywood export into her incognito anti-paparazzi outfit (hat, sunglasses, handbag as shield).

Ilex Press

Why Photographers Prefer Cloudy Days

Haje Jan Kamps
Authors:
Haje Jan Kamps
Kyle Books

The Wholefood Pantry

Amber Rose
Authors:
Amber Rose

'Kitchen staples and basic recipes are the nuts and bolts of every cook's kitchen. They are what I like to call the toolbox recipes. They are the flavoursome, nourishing base components and little extras that can finish a dish to make it sing.' Rid your cupboards of readymade, processed 'staples' and change the way you cook with this essential collection of healthy recipes for stocks, sauces, spice mixes, butters, oils, ferments, cultures, chutneys and more. * Create your own kefir, kimchi and pickles. * Discover how to make nut milks, creams and cheeses. * Customise your favourite dishes with a wealth of spice mixes, marinades, dressings and dips. * Indulge in sumptuous fruit butters and seasonal bakes. * Enjoy raw chocolate, gut-healing marshmallows and tempting syrups and cordials. Nutritious, delicious and unequivocally joyful, The Wholefood Pantry shows how recipes can be combined to expand your culinary repertoire and make everyday dishes extraordinary.